Is It Garden Snark?

As I meandered across the internet searching for information on…I can’t remember what anymore, I bumped into a blog called Garden Rant via the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. My initial reaction was who the hell do these four women think they are bringing snark into my peaceful garden world. Sure, I’ve argued that growing flowers is just as important as growing vegetables and I’ve written a fair share of flimsy, nothing new garden articles for websites, but hard work begets romance in my garden world and I like it that way. So after reading a few rants I wrote a rant of my own tossing in snark here and there to grow a point. Like all angry, emotional writers, I tossed the missive into the closest compost heap aka the delete key.

Somewhere between checking out each ranters bio and reading a few posts, I came across a blurb about the nonsense of using broken pots in container gardening. Besides what I initially viewed as garden snark, I felt personally affronted that anyone thought my mother’s method of growing was a myth or nonsensical. I learned to garden from my mother who SUCCESSFULLY grew myriads of houseplants all in containers with shards of clay pots in the bottom and from my mother-in-law. Together those two important women in my life made up 40 plus years of gardening experience growing vegetables, roses, herbs, and a plethora of flowers.

After I simmered down, I went back to the Garden Rant and read more. Now that the shock that my mom might have been doing something wrong wore off, I could rate the blog with a less emotional view. Yes, I’m eating humble pie…I liked it. I like the edgy writing and I especially like the groups dislike of too pretty, too fast HGTV gardening bunk. I don’t watch gardening shows on TV. I would add one more dislike when it comes to garden TV and glossy magazines…most of the ideas are too expensive for the tight budgets a good share of Americans are on in the current economy.

We all want something new, but I also delve into the gardens of the past through garden writers like Rosetta E. Clarkson, Gertrude Jekyll, and Henry Beston. I see romance in a flower garden where someone else sees solitude, drama, or whatever. That’s the grand part of gardening….it is whatever you want it to be with hard work. Read the everything’s comin’ up roses blogs, read the poison ivy sting of blogs like Garden Rant, read the facts and check out the legend and lore, but in the end take what you will and make it your own.

Now get out there and read a few garden blogs on a rainy day!

PS I’m doing a little research on my own to discover if placing broken pieces of clay pots or stones in the bottom of containers is indeed necessary. I’ll get back with you on that one.

In the Style of an English Cottage Garden

As every gardener knows, a garden is never finished. Something always needs planted, transplanted, or replanted. My dream garden would be an herb garden in the center and the beds surrounding the herbs chock-full of perennial and annual flowers along with herbs. The profusion of flowers and herbs spilling into paths, scenting the garden, and pulling visitors into an enchanted of world of foral romance. My beds along the edge of the garden would be in the style of the English cottage garden.

After measuring and marking the complete garden, finally, my picket fence was installed, albeit little by little. Once we had one side and the two ends of the fence completed, we built the beds, added top soil, and began planting. The plan was to have two garden gates, one facing the direction of the house, the second facing the yard to the north. Acorn finials would top each post to add a finish to the picket fence.

I started planting at the west garden gate. I can’t remember exactly what I planted first, but one of the first things was a pink climbing David Austin rose. I wanted the rose to twine about the fence with pink roses peeking through the pickets. To the immediate side of the rose I planted fountain delphiniums in sky blue. I love the combination of clear pink and sky blue. Coming forward were hardy geraniums or crane’s bill, Johnson’s blue being one of my favorites. Lavender edged the path creating a fragrant walk each time an ankle brushed against the foliage. Russian sage, lamb’s ear, monarda in pink, yarrow, lady’s mantle, globe thistle, and baby’s breath were all in the long bed.

The bed starting on the other side of the garden entrance held day lilies in pale yellow and pink. Victorian salvia, annuals and more herbs.

The end facing south would eventually become home to an arbor with a seat, at least that was my hope. Space enough for the arbor was created in the center of the end by laying down black plastic and covering it with pea gravel. Either side of the future arbor became home to true lilies or lilium. Stargazers emitted so much fragrance that it became overpowering at times.

I fell in love with a luscious pink peony and a foxglove I read about in the book, Tasha Tudor’s Garden, but I didn’t find the name of the peony until I picked up the book, English Cottage Gardening for American Gardeners by Margaret Hensel. Once I found the name of the peony, ‘Sarah Bernhardt’ I had to find someone who sold it. I called nurseries and asked around. Finally, I found it at a nursery in Hillsdale, Michigan, called Gleis. The strawberry foxglove I found at Greenfield Herbs in Shipshewana, Indiana, one of the best herb & flower shops ever. Unfortunately, the owner sold Greenfield Herbs and although I’ve not been there, from the online description, I gather it’s changed a great deal.

Fall plantings of tulips and daffodils presented color in early spring. I was always on the look out for pink tulips with my favorite being ‘angelique.’ I transplanted from other flowerbeds into the new one. Snowdrops, from a large cluster in an old flowerbed near the pasture, were transplanted to the new garden. Digging and separating iris, daffodils, and other perennials cut down the cost of the garden.

Keep in mind that I usually purchased three of any one variety of plant in the same color to create a splash. Whether it’s a tall spire like a delphinium or a tiny violet, planting only one per color seldom creates much of a statement. Each variety of plant should not get lost in the riot of color, texture and pattern that is a cottage garden, but harmonize with each other displaying your personal gardening flair.

My dream garden was finally taking shape and I loved it. Next, came a fairy garden and that is a tale for another day.

Now get out there and make your garden dreams come true!

Cottage Garden Plants: Perennials
Roses
Peonies
Iris
Hemerocallis (Day lilies)
Lilium (True lilies - Asiatic, trumpet, Oriental, or species)
Hardy geraniums (crane’s bill)
Catmint
Monarda
Lavender
Lady’s Mantle
Lamb’s Ear
Balloon flower
Yarrow
Delphinium
Campanula
Dianthus (Cottage pinks)
Foxglove
Globe thistle

Hummingbird Babies

Every once in a while something amazing comes along. I've often wondered what hummingbird babies look like. Once, I found a nest, but the family had long since moved out. It was about the size of a thimble and lined with hair from Molly's long beautiful black mane and tail. I'm sharing a link with you that my daughter emailed me from work. I hope it makes you smile as much as it did me. Just click on the words:

Hummingbird Babies

Enjoy!

A Dream Garden Come True

Gardeners embrace change like a caterpillar morphing from homely worm into beautiful butterfly. Next year’s garden will be bigger, better, more beautiful, and more bountiful. Instead of planting one row of peas, two rows will be even better. Add a bed here, a new garden there. Dig out what doesn’t work and try a new variety. Nature continuously changes and gardeners follow suit. I was no different. My simple garden might have needed sprucing up, but I needed something totally new. I spent another winter researching, designing, pouring over books and garden magazines until my dream garden became a reality.

After a winter of dreaming, I came up with a list of must haves:

• Beds for herbs in a logical order: the Medicinal garden, a garden of fragrance, a culinary garden, and a garden of delight.
  
• A knot garden
  
• A fairy garden
  
• A picket fence
  
• Room for every flower and herb I’ve ever wanted to grow.

In my dreaming garden scheme, I would add an arbor with a seat at some point and a running fountain, and so much more.

My garden began in the middle of the side yard where the sun shone all day. One corner would hit just below the branches of a flowering crab apple tree. Here I could grow semi-shade plants.

Knot Garden Focal
The goal was to start in the center and work our way outward. The beds were landscaping timbers with slightly rounding sides, set one on top of the other. The first bed laid out was a square that would become the garden’s focal point. I purchased a beautiful wood dovecote from a builder in Bryan. It was set on a tall post in the center of the square bed. Germander and gray santolina planted in a chain pattern edged the central bed. Germander, also created an X growing from each corner to the post. Future plans included making the knot more complex.

The next set of beds were L-shaped creating a larger square around the little knot garden in the center. Keep in mind; I called each bed a little garden.

Culinary Garden
An edging of chives surrounded borage, different varieties of sage, several thymes, basil, that self-sowed much to my delight, and whatever captured my fancy at the time. Lovage with its celery flavor and the vibrant color and peppery taste of nasturtiums added textures and pattern. Umbrellas of dill dropped their seeds in fall placing new plants in odd places.

I like to stuff beds full and tend to crowd plants to create a lush look faster. I also follow the design concept of odd numbers. I nearly always plant one variety in a clump of three’s, five’s, or seven’s.

Medicinal Garden
I have never been a follower of natural remedies and first aid, but the historical uses of herbs, besides culinary, was primarily to heal or soothe the human body. Research enough and you’ll discover a medicinal use for almost every plant. I grew plants that people would recognize and enjoy, but that had a firm background in early medicine. Yarrow was said to staunch the flow of blood and stood proud in the medicinal bed. Lamb’s ears, an ancient type of band-aid lent softness to the garden with velvety leaves. Mint, buried in tile and chamomile soothed stomachaches. An ancient herb, hyssop was considered a fumigant and strewn about floors. A well-loved plant with blue-green foliage, rue, completed the medicinal garden.

Fragrance Garden
The truth is the whole garden was fragrant, but I wanted a bed just for the most fragrant of my favorite herbs. Lavender dominated the fragrance bed with spikes of deep purple, pink, and blue. The flowering spikes became tied bundles or lavender wands. I grew mignonette after reading about it in Rosetta E. Clarkson’s book, Green Enchantment, published in 1940. Lemon balm, lemon thyme, a pot of lemon verbena, pineapple sage, violets, and monarda or bee balm made the bed the most fragrant spot in the garden. Scented geraniums, especially the rose scented ones were placed in pots about the bed.

Garden of Delight
This bed was reserved for the plants and herbs that enchanted me in some way. An edging of ornamental strawberries, called ‘Pink Panda’ produced a plethora of pink blossoms that made me smile. Marjoram, summer savory, tansy, calendula, marigolds, and artemisias filled the bed. The plantings changed from year to year with various annuals.

Those four beds surrounded the square bed in the center. The paths were covered with black plastic and pea gravel brought in to line the paths. Tons of topsoil was purchased to fill the beds and I used cocoa bean mulch exclusively within my dream garden.

Watching my brother, Bill and his wife Judy, build their new garden has brought back so many memories. I miss my garden and can’t wait until I can plant a bit of earth to call my own, until then it’s container gardening and big dreams.

Tomorrow I’ll tell you how the garden grew into an English cottage garden.

Now get out there and get dirt beneath your fingernails!

Journey through My Herb Gardens

I’m not sure when I first fell in love with herbs, it was sometime in my early 20s, probably after reading a historic novel. My first venture into growing herbs began with seeds. I thought I could grow lavender, thyme, and rosemary by casting seed around the old windmill on the farm. I covered the seeds with soil, watered the area, but of course, nothing came up. Starting herbs like lavender and thyme from seeds takes some knowledge of horticulture and the right growing conditions. At the time, I grew a vegetable garden and a bed of strawberries, but nothing from seed started indoors. Starting lavender seeds indoors can be done, but it takes patience as lavender seeds take a month or more to germinate.

I began reading about herbs and the more I read the more fascinated I became with the history, beauty, and usefulness of the plants. My first herb plants came from a Smith & Hawken catalog that landed in the mailbox one day. I sat leafing through the thin catalog enraptured by what I saw…lush green thymes; spikes of lavender in blue, pale purple, and pink; bushes of rosemary in terra cotta pots, and lemon verbena light and refreshing beckoning me to buy, buy, buy…so I did. The plants arrived wrapped in damp newspapers, bare root exposed, and looking a bit wilted. I jumped in the car and ran to the nearest store for clay pots. I couldn’t wait to plant the herbs.

An old wooden wheel from a long discarded wagon or buggy became my first herb garden. I wish I had a picture of it, but it never dawned on me to photograph my gardening journey at that time. As a foolish grower, I hadn’t read enough about herbs, yet. I was just excited to grow a few. So I planted spearmint, thyme, lavender, lemon balm, lamb’s ears, and Silver king Artemisia. I can almost hear the gasps and cringes emitting from herb enthusiasts. Yes, I placed two invasive herbs, next to darlings like thyme and lavender that overtook the entire wheel, heading out into the lawn. If you’ve never grown herbs, you should know… mints of any kind invade every corner of the garden, landscape, or lawn unless you take extra precautions to keep the mouth-watering fragrant herb in check. Artemisia is a prolific plant, growing tall, and sometimes gangly, falling over into its neighbors. Both plants add a layer of beauty, fragrance, and utility to the garden and should be included, but showcase each properly and refrain from planting helter-skelter.

In the few years I had my wheel garden, I fell head over heels for the fragrant plants and wanted more. A flowerbed was worked up and herbs planted among iris, a Queen Elizabeth rose, globe thistle, and a variety of annuals became my focus. I started sticking herbs everywhere… in the vegetable garden, in the flower beds around the house, and anywhere I could find an open bit of earth, but I wasn’t satisfied… I wanted an herb garden smack dab in the middle of the side yard.

I picked up a book called The Pleasure of Herbs by Phyllis Shaudys. I spent the winter pouring over that book as if it were a new friend and I needed to know every intimate detail. A long-time insomniac, I would sneak downstairs so the light would not bother anyone and read all about herbs at 2 am. I found sources for herbs that I could not purchase in rural northwest Ohio. I discovered garden designs and how-to directions for building raised beds. I discovered a love that then turned into a passion.

As spring approached, I had my garden design drawn on paper, a list of plants, and a pleading plan ready to go. Yes, I got my raised bed herb garden using old lumber from the farm.

I placed a bee skep in the center of the garden and thought surely I would be satisfied, but my passionate hobby turned into a business and once again, the bigger, better bug hit me. This time I wanted my dream garden.

Come back and learn about the dream garden tomorrow.

Now get out there and green your thumb!

Change of Mind

It's a woman's prerogative to change her mind and I am. Instead of writing about thyme I let the spirit move me and a quick journy through the herb gardens of my life flowed from fingers to monitor. My goal is to cover, in depth, many different plants over time, but for now it's about the gardens of my past.

If you have a remembrance of a garden, yours or someone elses, I'd love to hear about it. Email me or add it to comments.

Of Greenhouses, Herbs, & Flowers

I hope everyone went out last night and covered newly planted vegetables, herbs, and flowers. The weather forecasted a hard frost and sure enough, white frosty ground greeted me this morning. A flannel sheet tossed over pots, too heavy to bring in, protected the plants. The two flats of seedlings, yet to be planted, came indoors. The importance of not getting too excited and planting too early cannot be overstated. It’s early folks…there’ll be plenty of time after the threat of frost to get plants in the ground.

A few vegetable plants not only withstand frost, but prefer cooler weather. My father tried to get his peas, radishes, and lettuce in on Good Friday. He grew from seed, not plants. If you’re tucking lettuce, radishes, or pea plants into the garden, make sure you’ve hardened them off first. Not sure what hardening off is? Take a look at a previous post, Hardening Gardening.

Plants to start in early spring outdoors:

1. Beets
   
2. Chard
   
3. Kale
   
4. Lettuces and Leafy Greens
   
5. Peas
   
6. Radishes
   
7. Spinach

Yesterday, my sister and I headed for a Schmidlin Greenhouse outside of Delta, Ohio. The well-kept greenhouses await gardeners with lush plants ready to be hardened off and planted. I’m an herb lover first and a flower lover second… I know, in this economic climate I should be following the current trend and growing vegetables galore, but I digress. We wandered up down the aisles of the retail greenhouse ooing and ahhing over plants that made my heart beat a little faster, but when I spied the herbs on the far aisle, I couldn’t resist.

My backyard will be home to container-grown herbs, each pot dedicated to one variety. I all ready had sweet basil, so I picked up opal basil and spicy globe basil plants for early additions to cooking. In a couple weeks, I’ll sow basil seed in the elongated container ensuring I have basil until frost.

I adore lemon thyme. It’s one of my favorite herbs in the garden and in the kitchen. I have variegated thyme, but wanted a variety of thymes to round out the container I’m using. I purchased wooly thyme, an old time thyme that remains popular and just plain ole thyme, also called upright thyme. Instead of creeping, it grows upright.

Every front porch deserves to be adorned with a pot of flowers. The little front porch rests in the shade most of the day, so I looked for semi-shade annuals that look great in a pot. Use an interesting container to add a bit of pizzazz. A basket leftover from my now defunct herb & flower shop, Windy Corner, will be the container for a palette of pink, sky blue, and silvery gray foliage. Schmidlin Greenhouse offers an enchanting double impatien that looks like a miniature rose with variegated foliage. I chose “Fiesta” Olé Peppermint, a charming pink color, to be the centerpiece of the living bouquet.

Lobelia makes a statement as a filler in potted bouquets. The lobelia I chose is called “Sky” a clear blue the color of the sky on sunny days. Dusty miller adds the finishing touch of soft silvery gray to the feminine palette with bold pattern. The juxtaposition of soft and bold lends just a smidgeon of drama to the romantic look.

I highly recommend journeying to Schmidlin Greenhouse, Inc. The owners are Don and Becky Schmidlin. The greenhouses sit out in the country on County Road 9479-M north of Delta off Route 109.

Schmidlin Greenhouse, Inc.
9479-M
Delta, OH 43515
Telephone: 419 822-3137
FAX: 419 822-0175

The rest of the week, I’ll be adding posts regarding thyme. The blogs will cover how to grow it, where to grow it, how to use it in the kitchen and in the garden, and the legend and lore. Whewww…by the end of the week you’ll know thyme well and I hope be encouraged to pick up a few plants if you haven’t all ready.

Now get out there and get your knees dirty!

Bill & Judy’s Garden: It’s all about Beds

In the last two weeks, Bill & Judy took advantage of sunny days and built four beds for growing vegetables and herbs. While I love gardening, I am no carpenter or even close to being handy…I still don’t know the difference between a Philip’s screwdriver and the other one. Luckily, two handy people who know what they’re doing built the beds. Kudos to Judy for being pretty darn handy. Let’s go step-by-step and see just how they built four raised beds for their brand new garden.

Supplies
Linseed oil
Sprayer or cloths
Sides: 2” X 6” X 12’ boards for the sides, as many as needed
Ends: Ends of the beds were built to be four feet across
Corner stakes: 2” X 4” X 36”
Each finished bed will measure 4 feet across, 12 feet long, and 12 inches deep.
Hardware: 2 ½” deck screws
Tools: Circular saw, level, string for positioning level, sledgehammer, regular hammer, screw gun, bar clamps, wheelbarrow, and cooler
Refreshment: A six pack of your favorite beer
The number or amount of supplies needed depends on the number of beds being built and how thirsty the builders get.

Building the Beds
1. Place beer in cooler along with plenty of ice

2. Before building, Bill and Judy treated the lumber with boiled linseed oil. You can find linseed oil at your local hardware store. Apply the linseed oil with a cloth or by spraying. Bill sprayed the boards and then relaxed with a beer while the boards sat for 30 minutes. After 30 minutes, he wiped the boards with a cloth, removing excess oil.

3. Now the fun really starts. Bill & Judy cut boards to the following dimensions: 2” X 6” X 12’ with the result being double stacked beds achieving the height of 12 inches. Each bed took between 2 ½ to 3 hours to build plus beer breaks.

4. After building the beds, they took them to the garden to be positioned. Stacking two beds created the 12 inch depth. Once the position of the bed satisfied them, they cleated the two beds together. Finally, a corner stake was hammered into the ground until the top was flush with the bed.

Filling with Soil
Bill & Judy ordered ten tons of soil from a local source allowing approximately 2 tons of soil per bed. The soil mixture consisted of topsoil, mulch, and humus. They added any remaining soil to the sweet corn patch.

The topsoil was dumped near the beds to eliminate a long trek from soil mound to beds. The backbreaking work of loading up a wheelbarrow of soil and unloading into the beds took the couple around ten days to complete.

Thoughts
The next time Bill & Judy build a bed they’ve decided to kill the grass first with an herbicide like Round-Up. Renting a Bobcat to move ten tons of soil from pile to bed would alleviate nights dealing with back pain and get the job done quicker, saving money on beer.

I arrived just as the last bit of dirt was being added to the last bed. The pile of dirt didn’t look so intimidating, but I wasn’t leaning on a shovel while massaging my lower back with my other hand. The four beds look great. Congratulations, Bill & Judy…your garden is off to a good start. I can’t wait to photograph the rewards of your hard work later this summer. I’ll be around soon to take a few photos of your fledgling plants, so have a beer ready…oh and I prefer a frosty mug, please. One more thing… if you could provide a comfy chair and…

Bill & Judy’s Garden: Raising the Beds

Just the Basics Folks

There are gardens of all kinds, some folks bring in top soil and mix it with the existing soil. Some gardeners opt to create a garden in containers. Other green thumbers take the time to build raised beds and that’s exactly what Bill & Judy did. Starting from scratch gave them a wealth of choices, but they decided upon raised beds that were tall enough to decrease the time spent in back aching positions. How did they do it? Read on for the basics of building raised beds.

Why Raise Beds?
The obvious answer to this question is that there’s less bending over when it comes to planting, weeding, and harvesting. Bill made his beds high enough that he can sit on a garden buddy ( I don’t know the actual name so I made one up), a wheeled bench with a compartment under the seat for storing garden tools, and do garden chores. According to Bill, the only thing missing on the rolling gardening seat is a holder for beer and maybe larger wheels for smoother rolling down the path.

Beyond the creature comforts for gardeners, raised beds offer solid benefits to plants. Drainage is not a problem with raised beds. Rain and watering, when needed, leeches through the soil, without becoming super saturated causing plants to stand around with their feet in water, something that most plants do not like.

Heavy garden equipment and even footsteps compact the ground in a garden. Raised beds keep the soil aerated and friable providing necessary air around the roots of plants.

Square-inch gardening or getting the most for the allotted space is much easier to achieve in raised beds where soil, fertilizer, and mulching can be controlled.

It’s possible to double the output of your raised garden.

Raised gardens look great in the yard. A well-planned and executed raised bed garden adds structural appeal and organization.

Believe it or not, plants grown in a raised bed poke out of the garden quicker or earlier and last longer into fall. Plants surrounded by wood, stone, or whatever the chosen medium receive just enough warmth to extend the growing season.

Materials for Raised Beds
What you use to frame your raised beds is a matter of taste. Before you decide, take a look at your yard and the style of your home. Creating a seamless look that embodies your personal style will keep you happy for years to come.

Almost anything can be used to form the beds: cement blocks, brick, stone, old railroad ties and of course, wood. Stay away from chemically treated wood, especially in a vegetable or herb garden where the intended use of plants is for eating. Creosote drenched railroad ties are better left out of your yard.

The Design
Again, the design of the beds is up to you. Most beds are laid out in geometric shapes of squares, rectangles, and L-shapes. You decide the size of your bed by making it appropriate to your yard. Keep in mind that you’ll want to be able to reach to at least the middle of the bed to pluck that plump red tomato. The length and depth is up to you. Take into consideration that most plants need a root zone of 6 to 12 inches.

Now that you know the basic basics, we’ll be checking in on the progress of Bill & Judy and their garden.

Hardening Gardening

Acclimating plants started indoors to the outdoors can mean the difference in success and failure. Think of plants as babies, nurtured and introduced to the wide world in small doses. The transition from greenhouse or indoors to Mother Nature and all her whims is called “hardening off.” Familiarize yourself with the steps for hardening off your plants and you won’t find tender seedlings withered from wind, burned from too much sun, or drowned in spring rains.

Ready!
When is a plant ready to be introduced to the garden? Read the information on seed packets. Seed packets provide a transplant date and depending on the maturity of the plant, you may want to begin hardening off about a week before that date. If your plants have not reached a sturdy stage with a strong stem and full leaves, wait a few more days.

Become a weather watcher. Do not attempt to harden off plants on cold spring days when the frost lies heavy on the grass. Wait until all threat of frost ends.

Set!
Gradually acquaint plants to the outdoors. Seedlings often die from transplant shock when not properly hardened off. Over a week’s time, set your plants out each day, lengthening the time spent outdoors until the need to bring them in no longer exists.

Day One
On the first day, wait until the sun warms the air. Set your plants outside in a shaded area or on a porch. Leave them out for 2-3 hours and then take them back into the greenhouse or garage.

Days Two, Three, and Four
Each of the next three days, place your plants outdoors in the morning sun. Around noon, place the plants under a shade tree for protection from the warming sun.

Days Five and Six
By now you’re plants should be able to withstand the afternoon sun and will no longer need to be placed in the shade.

Day Seven
On the seventh or eighth day, weather permitting, leave your plants out all night. The temperature should not fall below 50 degrees for optimal conditions.

During this time of transition, check plants daily for water needs and weather damage. Be prepared to run outside to gather the plants indoors if winter conditions should suddenly occur.

Go!
Once the plants you started indoors or purchased from a greenhouse are hardened off, transplant them. Choose a cloudy day for planting, watering each plant generously.

There are other methods for transitioning plants to the outdoors, but gradual hardening off is the technique I’ve always used with great success. Putting your plants in a wheelbarrow or wagon makes moving them in and out convenient.

“Your first job is to prepare the soil. The best tool for this is your neighbor’s tiller. If your neighbor does not own a garden tiller, suggest he buy one.” —Dave Barry

*Thank you CP for the title